For men who Google fitness questions at 11pm and regret it.
No spam. No "10 secrets to shredded abs." Just updates when we launch.
One article says carbs are evil, the next says eat pasta. Both have "PhD" in the author bio.
CBum's regime isn't for you. You have a job, responsibilities, and a Pingo Doce loyalty card.
"12-week transformation" started from a base of 10 years training, a chef, and a pharmacy.
You've bought every supplement known to mankind. Your cabinet looks like a pharmacy. Still confused.
The problem was never the program
The problem was the GOAL
Is my goal even possible?
How much protein do I actually need?
What should I actually weigh?
How long will this realistically take?
Which supplements actually work?
Should I bulk or cut first?
On Influencer Grocery Hauls
"Nobody in Lisbon is buying high-altitude-fair-trade-activated-quinoa. You have chicken thighs and rice. That's a meal. Stop making this weird."
On Hollywood Transformations
"That actor got shredded in 12 weeks because he had a personal chef, trainer, sleep coach, and a pharmacy. You have a full-time job and a Pingo Doce loyalty card. Adjust expectations accordingly."
On Meal Prep
"If your meal prep requires a label maker and 47 identical containers, you've built a job, not a system. Cook meat. Put it in the fridge. Eat it during the week. This isn't rocket science."
On Your Goal Physique
"You've had a picture of CBum on your wall for 3 years. Chris Bumstead is 175cm. You're 194cm. His proportions literally cannot exist on your skeleton. Let's figure out what the best version of YOUR frame looks like."
+ 6 more rules when we launch
No spam. No "10 secrets to shredded abs." Just updates.